Gleekage: Sue's Journal

This is by far the funniest thing I have ever heard:

Dear Journal,
Feeling listless again today. It began at dawn when I tried to make a smoothie out of beef bones, breaking my juicer. And then at Cheerios practice - disaster. It was unmistakable. It was like spotting the first spark on the Hindenburg. A quiver. That quiver will lose us nationals, and without a championship I’ll lose my endorsements, and without those endorsements, I won’t be able to buy my hovercraft.

Glee Club. Every time I try to destroy that clutch of scab-eating mouth-breathers it only comes back stronger, like some sexually ambiguous horror movie villain. Here I am, about to turn 30, and I’ve sacrificed everything, only to be shanghaied by the bi-curious machinations of a cabal of doughy misshapen teens. Am I missing something journal? Is it me? Of course it’s not me. It’s Will Schuester. What is it about him, journal? Is it the arrogant smirk? Is it the store-bought home perm? You know journal, I noticed something yesterday. Of course, it’s coming clear to me now. If I can’t destroy the club, I will have to destroy the man.”

Sue is officially my favorite character. HA!